the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
