Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
