Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
