Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I'm really busy with my period
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