I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
