I wanna bring you to show and tell
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
