i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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