drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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