Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
