Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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