Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
