on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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