You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
