you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I had to cum in my sink.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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