i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
