did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
