I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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