Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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