I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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