i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
