I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
