She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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