is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
