why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
