Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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