my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I have tasted many bathrooms
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
