He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
