kristin has been a bad kristin
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
