I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
