im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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