This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
