Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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