Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
