Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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