She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
These tits shall not be calmed
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
