i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
