pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
