you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
