I want to stick my p in your. b.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
