i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
