i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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