I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This is the high leading the old right now
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
