Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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