So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
