This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
