Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
