I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
