Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
