what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
