I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
