Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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