Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
